Thursday, May 6, 2010

I Missed the Sunrise But I Still Got Burned

Saturday April 24th, 9:15am-
*ring, ring, ring*
“…he-helllooo?”
“Hi Rachel- it’s Carmen; are you on your way? Me and John are at the church already and we were wondering where you are.”

*
Considering we only get to meet together twice a month, I was pretty bummed when no one could make it to the ATA (Awaken the Adventure) hike on Saturday April 24th. But alas, I understand- we are adults and sometimes life just happens: kids (not for me yet), work, etc. Don’t get me wrong- I have never met a more faithful bunch of people- my point is family and providing will always come before recreation. I say recreation lightly, of course, as this - as I have established before - is much more than kicks and giggles…all that to say, I went to bed Friday night with the intent to sleep in the next morning.

“What the what?” was the first things that ran through my mottled brain when I was woken up by Carmen’s phone call. Although my brain cells weren’t alive yet I somehow knew me being asleep while people were waiting on me had to be my fault somehow. And let’s face it- this is my gig so regardless of the details…it all comes down to me owning up to the things that happen with ATA. I remember laying there, quietly for a second thinking… “I canceled it… why are they there?” I wrestled with the idea of telling them it was canceled and to head home. Thank goodness my brain began to un-fog before I responded; I realized these are my precious Awaken members and I had to be there for them; and even with just two- they are deserving of my commitment. Needless to say, I ripped my tired butt out of bed and headed out.

Lessons for Rachel; life never stops giving me lessons and honestly, the day that I stop learning how to be a better person is the day someone should shoot me because living would become void. After further investigation into what went wrong (cuz ya’ll…they waited on me a good minute) I learned this: don’t assume. Don’t assume that if someone doesn’t RSVP- that they aren’t showing up and don’t assume just because someone said they couldn’t make it, they won’t change their mind. I also learned this: be thorough on follow up. Notify everyone on the team with all details even if they RSVP they can’t be there.

I can’t thank the Lord enough for the hearts of the members of Awaken. Carmen and Jon were very encouraging and supportive despite the miscommunication on my part. They waited patiently for my arrival and never complained or gave me the stink eye for missing the mark. Thanks you guys!

This is not the first time I have thought about how amazing each member of the group really is: Carmen-shows strength in meekness; Donald- is full of joy and a shining hope; Matt- is a leader and visionary; Jon- is an insightful soul; Aaron- feverishly in love with Christ; Adam- humble and triumphant; Anthony- the brave; and Brandon- steadfast in keeping unity. Hungry, fearless, trusting, reliable and wonderful: although we are entirely different, there is enough that bonds us together...we just work. It’s as if God purposed each to be exactly here for exactly this.

Carmen picked the hike that day: we headed up the Pacific Crest Trail on the section that runs through Green Valley. Carmen informed us that this particular trail runs from Mexico to Canada and takes four months to hike! The five and a half miles we did manage to hit didn’t even touch its entirety! And can I just say- it was gorgeous! And- it was HOT
(I never got off a mountain so fast; I forgot to wear sun screen and wound up resembling a lobster)!!

I love how the Lord works through the inadequacies of his children, as he has done so many times with me. In fact, he has done this so much with me that I have learned that I can step into something large because I know he’s gonna get my back and that all things will work out for the best- despite my involvement in them! Lol! (Did I just use text language in my blog??) So, despite how the morning began and despite the fact that we were missing the majority of our team, we had an incredible time of fellowship! I got to learn about Jon, which I hadn’t really had the chance to up until now. I learned that Jon is working fervently to become a musician. He has been playing the guitar for many years now, and he doesn’t just play it- he STUDIES it in practice and theory. He studies different styles like Jazz and Classical and Rock. I can’t wait to hear him play!

Carmen decided to harbor a little secret on the hike…but it eventually came out and she ended up being the biggest trooper of the day. Since the trail was never ending, we knew that it was gonna be straight up and then straight back down. So, I decided to make it a timed hike. And it really was up, up, up the whole way! It felt GREAT! I think I am getting stronger because it didn’t nearly hurt as much as the hike to the Devil’s Chair last month (of course that was a six hour hike). But it was a good, solid, sweaty, burning hike. I noticed Carmen started to lag a little not that far into the hike. I was trying to encourage her to keep up. This group isn’t just for getting by- it’s for pushing ourselves physically as well as mentally and spiritually. I could tell that she was trying but really struggling. Finally after an hour, I stopped and asked her if she was ok; I could tell something was actually wrong. Whereupon came the confession: she was recently diagnosed with having cysts on her uterus and was told by the doctor that she wasn’t allowed to exert or push herself. My response: “Carmen!!! What the heck are you doing on this hike?” That girl wanted to be apart of the group so bad she tried to keep the pain on the DL and hiked anyways! And it wasn’t an easy hike! Considering we were already in the middle of the mountains, it’s not like we could stop for the day. She assured me that if we allowed for breaks that she could make it, so, we traveled with many stops to give her rest and, we did in fact make it. (Carmen- don’t ever do that to yourself again, girl. I love you!)

The sight of our destination was gorgeous! We could see Elizabeth Lake and all the way past the golden blanket of Poppies far away on the reserve to Mojave. The pictures do not even do the sight justice. There we stopped for Mana time. We read Romans 12:9-21. Even though it was just the three of us, we talked about that section of scripture for a good 45. It’s very revelatory. In fact, its sooo good, I will share it now with you:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for as it is written, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

We talked about what does honor mean? Honor looks like something. How do we look like honor and help others look like honor above ourselves? We talked about associating with everyone like they are on the same level, even if they are not; to connect and not judge. We talked about those burning coals- what are they and how do they burn? Is the burn beneficial for the person that it is being poured on? We talked about our relationships with other people and keeping unity. This blog is far too long to go into the details of the way in which we chewed on all of these ideas. It was an INCREDIBLE discussion and I am sad that most of you had to miss it. Carmen and Jon- it was a pleasure hearing your hearts and thoughts on this.

To many more peaks climbed and hearts opened……. Cheers!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Adventure One: Windy Beginnings At Poppy Mountain

Heart’s pounding: just as much from anticipation as from hiking this mountain. What a day! What does God have in store for this life of mine? That is my main question. So little time so many questions that need to be answered. I would rather spend my time doing and moving forward than sitting and waiting for life to figure itself out. But- how: how do I figure it out? How do I know what I am supposed to do with myself? Why is life so up and down and frustrating? What does God say about all of this? More importantly, what does God say about me? Man- this view is beautiful. Lord, speak to my heart! Tell me that you know I am here and that you love me! Tell me- what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? A Creator this beautiful must be good…look at this! God- help me to trust in you, that you know what is going on in my life and that it is your heart to take care of me and to give me a future…that you hear the depths of my heart and that you want to and are responding to it. I love you! Help me to understand what loving you means…

These are just some of the thoughts that were running through our minds as we embarked on our first adventure. When I pulled up in the parking lot of The Highlands and got out of my van, I could feel the anticipation coming from myself and from the group gathered there, staring at their leader wondering where this all would take them. Cramming into a mini-van with a bunch of people who don’t know one another might sound like a grim prospect for some but to the Awaken the Adventure crew- it is just an exciting beginning on the road to great adventure and all that God has in store for us.

It is fun for me to keep from the crew our destinations! I like the element of surprise, sure – but more than gratifying my own personality, it is symbolic for something that I want us all to learn: to trust the Lord completely. Many times in this life, the Lord will tell you where to show up and what equipment you need to bring, but he won’t divulge your destination or promise you an exact time frame. That is because (I believe) that God is more interested in the journey of our callings than the moment of arrival. I mean, isn’t it the stuff that we work out and learn along the way that become the very tools we will need to handle and do the job once we get there? Of course, the ultimate destination that we desire is Heaven… but we must learn to live today fully, spending everything that we have for the sake of the cross. That is how we will get to our eternal destination.

The Poppy Reserve was no less gorgeous without the blanketed hillsides of Poppies. I mean- the view! So grand! Nine of us set out bravely on our hike- and I say bravely very seriously! I don’t know if any of you remember how windy it was Saturday, March 13th... but we sure do! Hiking lesson #1: Whatever the weather is like at your house, it will be ten to twenty times worse at the place of the hike. This is because you gain altitude when you hike and will usually start your hike at a higher altitude. So, if it’s cold here- it’s freezing there; if it’s hot here- it’s boiling there; if it’s windy here- it’s a monsoon there! It was so windy at the reserve that even the portable outhouses were blown over. Did that stop us? Nope! We marched right up those hills; right up to the top. We stopped to enjoy God’s glorious creation and to reflect and journal. Thanks to Aaron bringing his guitar, we even had a little background music. The Tehachapi Mountain Range and the Valley Buttes were strong and graceful- absolutely stunning. There is nothing like isolating yourself from the business of life and traffic and surrounding yourself with creation. I tell you- the Lord speaks clearer in the middle of creation.

On the way back down we paused to read Matthew 7:7-12 and Matthew 6:25-34 (in that order). After dissecting those verses, we talked about how sometimes we must do what is right out of sheer obedience when we don’t feel like it, but not as a way of life. Eventually- a transformation of mind and heart must take place. We must get to a point where we do what is right because we do feel like it; no- more than feelings- we do it because our inner man (woman) wants to. A challenge was made for the week- search your heart and reflect on the core of what’s going on inside you. The more we know about where we are at, the easier it is to know where to go from here. The destination doesn’t matter if you don’t even know your starting point.

The rest of the hike was filled with theological debate and fun. What can I say: we have a smart and hungry group and I LOVE IT!!

Alas, exhausted and wind torn (I think the exhaust was more from the wind than the hike!) we journeyed to the chili line at Souplantation to warm ourselves up! There we heard stories from some of Aaron’s overseas travels and we learned that Donald is an artist! Donald lovingly gave me one of his creations and it is currently hanging on my vision wall at my apartment. Thanks Donald!

Well- thank you all who stuck around to read this entire entry. A little long, but needed as it was our first adventure. And thank you to my fab Awaken the Adventure crew: Cindy, Donald, Carmen, Brandon, Aaron, John, Anthony and Matt. I love you!

Until next time: awaken!

-Rachel Rane